blog what you like

I am consistently shocked by the hamster-wheel of pandemonium that I call my everyday life. Maybe I’m trying to get too much done. Maybe I need my own office. Maybe my to-do lists need sub-lists. Maybe I need to hire a personal assistant. Maybe I’m suffering from some type of attention deficit disorder and should seek immediate medical attention.

My aunt recently forwarded me an email that made me feel less alone in my illness (and made me laugh hysterically!). Though my daily tasks and activities are different than the ones described, the flow of the day is disarmingly similar…

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need water. I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote…someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day, the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, the flowers don’t have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired!

The crazy part is, if this really was my exact day, after realizing my inefficiency, I would wash the car while the kids’ dinner was cooking, I would pay bills and find a new book of checks while my kids were doing their homework, with baths and showers running I would clean up all loose house clutter – including the now warm can of Pepsi, and just prior to bedtime I would start a game of seek and find with my kids to see who could find my glasses and the remote first – winner allowed to choose which TV show we watch before collapsing in bed!!

No matter how crazy, distracted, or chaotic my focus gets, at the end of the day I keep the wheel spinning until my jobs are done. Most of them anyway. Some may say I’m just spinning my wheels, but it’s my raucous reality and I wouldn’t change a thing.

It’s a rare and strange talent.  A skill that most do not have nor desire to acquire.  Yet those in possession of such a skill are predisposed for a creative and resourceful life.  I’m talking about the peculiar talent (okay, wacky might be a better descriptor) that my younger daughter, Lily, has for making creations out of garbage.  No, I mean literally garbage.  As in she will open the trash to throw something out, see something else inside the can that catches her eye, sparks an idea and the next thing I know she’s asking, “Can I have that?  I need it for something.”

My husband put together a filing cabinet yesterday and he left the box and packing material remains on the mud room floor (you know, not quite in the garage but close enough to count).  Lily came home from school and before she had even taken her backpack off her shoulders she asked me if she could have some of “that stuff” as she pointed to the strewn styrofoam boards used to pack the filing cabinet parts.  Sure I said, somewhat hesitantly, as I envisioned what kind of messy project she was about to embark upon. 

Then my office line rang, the afternoon emails came in at a steady pace, I scrambled to process and pack the outgoing day’s orders and before I knew it I was my usual pre-UPS pick-up ball of late afternoon stress.  I hadn’t seen or heard much from Lily for the rest of the afternoon but I do recall her running up the stairs at one point with her arms full – and I wasn’t sure of what.  As the dinner hour approached, I grumbled to myself about all the work I still needed to do after the kids went to sleep.  Then I left to carpool for my older daughter’s soccer practice.  Because I can never do one thing at a time, I simultaneously drove and berated myself (both ways) for not having enough time (again) to make a “proper” meal for my family.  When I got home, as the chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese cooked, I exhaustedly went up to my room to put away some laundry not knowing where the strength would come to get through the rest of my night.  That’s when I glimpsed something on my bed.

Lily had broken up the flat strips of styrofoam packing into foot long “plaques” which she then decorated, personalized and carefully placed on each of our respective beds.  My heart – along with my stress – melted away as I marveled at Lily’s creativity, independence and thoughtfulness.

We all have a lot of “garbage” in our lives.  The lucky ones know how to look past it all.  The truly fortunate know how to transform it.

Spring to me is driving season. Between my 3 children, any given week consists of no less than 9 sports practices, 3 official games, 2 after school programs, 2 days of Hebrew School, a couple of playdates and one 7:30am band practice. I don’t know if I’m coming or going once mid-March hits because I’m always coming and going! Yes I have some carpools organized, but even so, I’m always driving someone somewhere. I’ve often said, to run an efficient household I don’t really need babysitters, homework tutors or even a house cleaner (okay, maybe I do need the house cleaner!) – what I really could use is a chauffer for my kids!!! Obviously, there are others out there that agree with me:

“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after.” ~ Peter De Vries

I’m new to electronic organization. I’ve always been a pen and paper kind of girl. I never had a PDA or a Trio. I never even kept a contact list in my cell phone. What was the point when I had a school directory and address book on me at all times? I played around with a Palm Pilot for a while but while I was using it I was the most disorganized I’ve ever been in my life. Seriously! It was double work because I never fully committed to it. I would keep my handwritten calendar and then transcribe new entries into the Palm – and not always immediately. And, since this era was pre-LikeWear it wasn’t even as if my computer was on 24/7 (hard to imagine now) so syncing and backing it all up always seemed like a chore. As a result, my Palm was never completely accurate or up to date – and as a result, neither was I.

About 2 years ago, I got a Blackberry. It forever changed my email life. But at that time, I still (to the incredulous, head-scratching, eye rolling wonder of my super-tech husband) didn’t use it for my calendar or phonebook. I didn’t see anything wrong with keeping my life organized in my Month-At-A-Glance – thank you very much! But, as LikeWear and my 3 children evolved and grew, my commitments, plans, meetings and activities, all became too much for my brain, and those small calendar boxes of only 6 lines per day, to handle. It was time for a change. That change had a name… Microsoft Outlook.

Very quickly I felt like I had acquired a personal assistant. Recorded birthdays now repeat every year without me rewriting them annually after waiting to purchase the new year’s paper calendar. Events can be color-coded to stand out or have special emphasis. And talk about bells and whistles – important meetings or events cause my computer and Blackberry to buzz, chime, beep (and practically reach through the monitor to slap me silly) each time it has to remind me to do something.

All that said, mine is still not a perfectly organized world. You see, very quickly I not only learned the joys and highs of Outlook but also its inherent weakness. You see, it is only as good as the information that you put in. Today I missed my daughter’s indoor soccer game. I had the game down for 3pm. My computer chimed at 2:30pm reminding me I needed to leave at that time in order to arrive the required 15 minutes before game time. The only problem was, the game had been changed to 1pm (apparently via an email sent out earlier in the week) and this new information had never been updated in my calendar. Ugh! And then last year there was the pre-camp get together for my son a few weeks before he left to go to sleepaway camp for the first summer. My daughter goes to a different camp and they too had a meet-and-greet the week after his. I reversed the 2 start times and we showed up at my son’s event just as it was ending. Definitely not a moment on my “mom highlight reel”.

So I guess no matter how high tech or sophisticated society gets, we can never fully escape the original governing principles of computers 101 that were taught 20+ years ago… GIGO – garbage in, garbage out. I definitely need to be more careful in the data entry department. And I recognize that mistakes are bound to happen. I just hope the next time I google GIGO, a picture of Lisa Gold doesn’t show up.

There are some shows on TV I just can’t get enough of – Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, So You Think You Can Dance (don’t mock it until you’ve seen it) and okay I admit it, Lipstick Jungle.  Can such an inspirational drama that so realistically depicts NY city life for 30/40 somethings really not have been picked up again for another season?  I’m being sarcastic but truth be told I will miss it.  And not because I’ll miss settling down to watch a little TV after my kids are in bed and the work/school week is completed on Friday nights.  You see, I NEVER watch TV at night. 

I don’t really have time to watch during the week.  I’m too caught up in finishing homework with my kids and making lunches, etc. for the next school day.  Plus, my alone time at night has been diminishing as my kids seem to be going to bed later and later – what are they getting older or something?  And then there’s the double whammy of 1) my husband (better known around here as the nocturnal night owl) who does his most productive work at night going strong until the wee hours of most mornings (ya know, the only time my house is quiet with no kids screaming, no phones ringing or doorbells chiming) and he and I usually need to confer and strategize together before his work happens, and 2) all of our reps are moms who start sending emails (and some even making phone calls) at night once their kids are asleep and their brains refocus post-mommyness for the day. 

So obviously discretionary free time is limited for me these days.  That said, I feel it is important to my sanity (not to mention my ass!) to work out  and exercise on a regular basis.  As of 18 months ago I gave up my local gym membership (time thing again) for the treadmill in my basement.  I DVR all my favorite shows and get caught up watching them while I’m huffing and puffing and sweating out all those stress toxins.  In fact, there has been many a morning when the draw of a new episode like Entourage has gotten me to drag myself out of bed on a Monday morning and lace up my sneakers!  And, when all else has already been watched (or we’re in the dreaded repeat season), there’s always Oprah for a little inspiration, suggestions for a great new book or tips on simply how to dress and look 10 years younger!!  I’ve also become very familiar – and I must say feel very current and hip - with new friends named Akon, T.I., Kanye, Paramore and Great American Rejects.  I watch them too while obsessively flicking to and from all the MTV channels (I am an 80’s girl after all – MTV was born in my generation and I still think it rocks).

Staying current with popular shows and musicians makes me feel “in the loop” and less like the hermit I sometimes feel I’ve become – holed up in my office working, working, working!  The one negative (actually it borders on dangerous) aspect of catching up on shows while running on the treadmill is that when watching the tear-jerker scenes of my favorite dramas, I’ve stumbled a bit because my vision is blurred by my watery eyes!!

But, “watching and running” is a perfect example of where I’m at these days.  There’s not enough time to do all the things I want to do – so instead of forgoing or eliminating things I enjoy, I just double-up and do more than one of them at the same time.  Humph… and my mom said that all that time I spent perfecting walking and chewing gum at the same time would never come in handy.

How can I be so incredibly, nerve-rackingly busy all day long and still feel like there is so much to do?!?! I’ve mentioned a few ways (in prior posts) to be in the moment and appreciate all that gets done as opposed to what has yet to be completed, but that is such a difficult concept to put into practice! I’m really trying – seriously. Every day I try to be kinder to myself and recognize my daily accomplishments. I try to focus on the “cross-outs” of my lists instead of the “new additions”. I’m so forgiving of others but I can be so demanding of myself.

This thinking likely stems from the pressure of running and growing a new and fast-moving business. I’m looking for some additional support people and their hire will help me. But for now it’s primarily up to me to not let things slip through the cracks. I don’t want emails to go unanswered and phone calls to go unreturned. I want inventory to be ordered and replenished in a timely fashion. I want orders to ship out as quickly as possible… back-orders bug me. They’re inevitable, I know. But I like it when things are orderly and clean (despite what my house looks like come the end of the weekend!).

Do I sound like I’m complaining? I don’t mean to. Busyness at this stage of LikeWear’s life cycle equates to business – as in we’re doing well. Given the state of the current economy, that says a lot. Also, I have several friends that are bored out of their minds during the day. They look upon me and all my daytime productivity (and frenzy) with envy. I know my soul thrives on this type of chaos in many ways - but the grass is always greener. I think I might enjoy a little boredom once in a while. You know, for about 5 minutes or so.

Wow! Has it really been a full week since I’ve added to this blog? The past 7 days have been chaotic and stressful – in fact, I feel as though I’ve been out of breath since I got out of bed last Sunday! LikeWear had several big orders come in, we signed 3 new independent sales reps and my all-around “right hand” assistant was on vacation (how dare she!).

I’m an “if you want it done right you should do it yourself” kind of person. I don’t delegate well. However, that mindset, I know, is a recipe for disaster in an entrepreneurial venture. There is simply too much to do. I can’t do it all. But, I haven’t wanted to take the time to cut back on productivity (even if only for a few days) to train additional people to take on some of the added responsibility. Last week we had several big orders come in - a direct result of our newly acquired independent sales reps - and it quickly became apparent that we need to hire more people. Last week I did everything (actually, truth be told, it got so busy mid-week I had my mother working for us too!). Staying lean and mean is one thing but as I posted in a quote not long ago, “Just because you can do it yourself, doesn’t mean you should do it yourself”. And sometimes, if you are fortunate enough to reach a certain level of growth, it becomes impossible to do it all.
So, one stiff neck and 2 dark-circled eyes later, I am interviewing and resigned to not be short-sighted. I may have to extend (albeit temporarily) my delivery times while I train some new people, but it will only increase our productivity dramatically in the long run. There’s no more denying the inevitable. We need to hire additional people. I will have to learn to delegate more and trust fully in the capability of others. This trust is crucial and necessary for continued growth. And it will be a challenge that I know I will have to overcome.

Okay, I admit it. I can be a little anal. I’ve had to relax my standards quite a bit though upon embarking on creating a new business and running it out of my house. Last year some of my most stressful moments involved figuring out and and preparing what each of my 3 kids wanted to eat for breakfast. In the morning, every second counts. All it takes is one “bump” on my daughter’s scalp while she’s trying to tie up a smooth, tight ponytail to send the mood of the entire household into a fast, downward spiral (meaning: everyone grab a bag of cookies on our way out the door as there’s no time for breakfast because I’ve spent all my time styling hair). And don’t even get me started on dinnertime in and around hebrew school and everyone’s conflicting sports team practices. There’s nothing worse than first arriving home at 7:30pm with 3 sweaty kids and nothing prepared for dinner. Can you say frozen pizza – again?!?!?!

Like anything else, moderation is the key. I believe being anal in regards to certain aspects of your life can be extremely beneficial. To that end, I have instituted a new policy in my house which coincided with the start of the new school year: Food Menus.
I have a set schedule as to what my kids will be having for breakfast and dinner during the week. We work together to make the choices and once the schedule is complete it is posted in the kitchen for all to see. Now, not only do I know exactly what I need to shop for at the supermarket each week, but I also don’t have to wait until I am graced with my kids’ presence in the kitchen before doing the cross check of what they each want for breakfast vs. what we actually have in the pantry and refrigerator. I can actually get started in the kitchen preparing breakfast while my “3 musketeers” are upstairs getting dressed, brushing their teeth, putting their pajamas in the hamper and making their beds. Okay, so the last 2 items on the list are still a fantasy of mine - but a mom can dream can’t she? Now that the chaos of mealtimes seems to have been quieted, can clean and organized bedrooms be far behind?

This blog has been quiet for a while. I think I may have dropped into the Bermuda Triangle. No wait, maybe it feels more like the Twilight Zone. On third thought, it’s just the bizarre 2 ½ week time period between when camp ends and school begins! Oh yeah, and add to it that it is LikeWear’s busiest time of year and the fact that we’ve started to add to our rep force and I’m hanging by a thread here!

I feel out of breath as I rush between ringing phones, bickering kids, filling LikeWear orders, filling out school and activity forms, purchasing cleats and making playdates – and then there’s those 3 meals a day plus snacks. I’ve never been busier yet I feel as though nothing is getting done! My older daughter is content to stay in her pajamas all day long. My younger daughter is dressed, brushed and raring to go by 8am. And my son has no interest in doing what either of his sisters want to do… HELP!!

I’ve been calling in favors from friends, family and neighbors in an effort to keep my kids busy and my nerves calm. Never has it been more challenging for me to balance work and motherhood than in the past week and half. I know it’s getting bad when I start to look forward to spending a gorgeous summer day at Chuck E. Cheese’s simply to fill the daytime hours with an activity that will keep all my kids occupied for more than 5 minutes.

But, I’ve rounded the corner. I’m just past the half-way mark. Labor Day, and more importantly - the first day of school, is in sight.

Maybe if I post it out loud I’ll actually listen…

Just because you CAN do it yourself, doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it yourself.